Allright folks. At this point college freshmen have been in school for a whole semester. Remember the first day that you were at school? Personally I was like "ok here I am...Now what?" I didnt know anyone. We had this social icecream soda party where everyone on the mount (our hill our home) from both Day and Flint Halls came together in one confused mass. I was looking for my new friends, trying to pic out kids who I thought were like me. Of course I just wound up standing around with a random bunch of kids who's names I cant even remeber. We all just stood there talking about nothing, and looking at the girls that walked by. I rember there were some girls that seemed to stand out from the rest of the crowed. Mostly beacuase they were all grouped together in a pac. I dont think that they had know eachother ahead of time, but they shared some commom triats exclusively. I guess thier 6th sense kicked in and it said...go over to those girls. And the girls in the group all mentally said, "Lets talk to her, she looks like us." And so a new clich had begun.

Those who didnt fit in went out to update thier wardrobes. The essential uniform: tight pants; those denim knickers when its warm and demin or black flared slacks when it gets colder. In extreme temperatures a Northface Nuptse Down jacket is donned. The jacket is a must, especcially if after a drunken nigth at the bars, one of them trips over thier 6 inch soles/heels and breaks a leg. If this happens, the pack will most likley leave the cripple to freeze in the chilling nigth air of syracuse. Survival of the fittest is the number one rule.

In the past this sect had only one thing to fear: Stouborn bouncers and the weekly check from mother getting lost by the postal service. But now they have a new enemy. It seems that all those years of doing nothing but looking sexy has begun to catch up with them. You can see evidence of this emerging foe around the waist band, circling the sagging butt cheeks, those pants that just look a little more full than they did a month ago. Those little shirts no longer just dislplay cleavage. They also expose a bit of a belly overhagning those tight pants and fat is begining to roll up between the straps of thier brasseirs (sp?)..maybe an increase to a 36-38 C would fix that. Though clothes cant hide evrything. All those calories in the beer and late night Papa John's bingeing have resulted in multiple chins. I say one chin, like two eyes, is plenty for one person. Any extras just defeat the purpose if you ask me.

Has this terrible affliction been sweeping over your campus? Don't you wish there was some way to help these poor girls? I mean do it to help yourself or your libido may never fully recover. For every new hit point, as of Today, I will donate one dollar to the JAP (Jiss And Pabst) (name based on daily diet of supported culture) FUND. This fund will hopefully supply NAPs (needy american princesses) with a designer treadmill, 3 Donna Karan/ Addidas gym outfits, and a hunky personal trainer-paid to work more than thier biceps.

please send inquiries about donations To my email adress at the bottom of the page. Lets all help give